Wednesday Sep 15 2010
‘Resident Evil: Afterlife’ would make a better video game
By: Frank Miller Special to The News Messenger
“Resident Evil: Afterlife” Director: Paul W.S. Anderson Starring: Milla Jovovich Rating: One out of five stars Complaining about logic in a zombie movie is like getting mad at a fast food restaurant for making people fat. You knew exactly what to expect but you ordered it anyway. “Resident Evil: Afterlife” is a mind-numbingly tedious movie that breaks the rules of physics and common sense so often it becomes a two-hour long game of “spot the plot hole.” However, this is a “Resident Evil” film, after all, and brain function isn’t necessarily a requirement to make these movies, let alone sit through them. After watching the characters in this film make every single bad choice imaginable, it’s impossible to believe that they survived so long in a zombie apocalypse. This is the fourth film in the “Resident Evil” series and people still don’t know how to properly dispatch the un-dead. Also, despite being cut off from a food source, characters look well nourished and fashionable. Even the women seem to have access to makeup. How convenient. Someone in Hollywood must have pictures of Milla Jovovich whipping kids in a sweatshop because it’s the only reason that could possibly explain why she keeps showing up in these movies. The paycheck can’t hurt either, especially when factoring in the added charge on 3-D ticket sales. Speaking of 3-D, it’s probably the only aspect of the movie that is extremely well done and expertly implemented. Unlike post-converted movies trying to snag a quick buck, “Resident Evil: Afterlife” was filmed with the same 3-D camera system that was used on “Avatar” and the difference is striking. Still, with more wooden actors, laughable dialogue and rip-offs of “The Matrix” than you can shake a severed limb at, it seems like this would have been a better video game than film. At least with a video game, you get a sense of accomplishment when it’s over. “Resident Evil: Afterlife” offers no such gratification when the credits roll because there’s only an overwhelming sense of relief that there’s nothing left to be subjected to. Frank Miller is a Sacramento writer.